You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize
