READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
