he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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