3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
i out mim tonsoeep
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
