This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Randomize
