he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
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