Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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