Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
