Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
MIDGETS
????
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
