porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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