I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
