i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
