You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
