so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
