just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
