they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
