are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
