so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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