i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
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