So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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