Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
