I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
