Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
