but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
