Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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