you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
