I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
