Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(516): View more from New York

There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong

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(631): View more from New York

My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud

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(563): View more from Iowa

when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.

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(317): View more from Indiana

Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.

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(417): View more from Missouri

Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.

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(541): View more from Oregon

I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.

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(847): View more from Illinois

Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands

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(502): View more from Kentucky

Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore

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(812): View more from Indiana

High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me

(316): View more from Kansas

Where the hell are you

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