My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Randomize
