You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
