Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Randomize
