I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
