Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
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