dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
