Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
