Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize