i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
