i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
