hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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