Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
