wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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