do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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