nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
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