I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
