Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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