were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Randomize
