Define "chronic" masturbator.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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