if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize