Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
