dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Randomize
