I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
