carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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