why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
