why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
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