just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
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