I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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