for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
