I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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