Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
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